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Hey, cutie. Just wanted to let you know that this story originally ran in our August issue, so if you like what you see, you should probably snag a hard copy ASAP.

True story: To some, this makes me a monster. I mean, I actually own a bunch of matching pairs now, and man, do I love showing off those beauts in bed. In fact, keeping my lil foot condoms on is actually helping to maintain both our sex drives in a way she fails to realize.

Think about it: Toes are our outermost extremities, and blood has to travel far to reach. Oh, and my doc for sex asap today toenails like to grow in crooked and, thus, easily snag on loose bed sheets. Even just thinking about the many times this has happened is giving me the bad kind of chills.

Honestly, though, if you really, really wanna ssex me on my reasoning: I said it. Hey, doc, is there a medical explanation for why men like to wear socks during sex?

Uh, no. But I thought maybe it would be like wearing those orthopedic socks designed to prevent blood clots on airplanes.

Like, maybe it would increase blood flow to my nether regions or something? If my penis is out in the open enjoying life, my feet deserve the same luxury.

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